Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
