I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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