If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
