The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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