Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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