guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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