think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
