Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
