everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
