dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
