It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
