I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
