how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize