I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
