ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
