just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
