The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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