Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
