If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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