I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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