And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There r osticjed everywhere
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
