She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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