never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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