Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
