I hate your face
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
