Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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