Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
