about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
