god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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