i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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