All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
