also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
