I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
