I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
