Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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