Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just pee around me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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