i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
