chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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