so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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