I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
