I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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