you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
