New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
