I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
