i just had sex bonerless
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
