Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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