You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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