ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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