READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
