is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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