ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
