pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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