my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
