the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
