3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
