Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize