: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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