There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize