I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
