He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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