good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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